journal prompts, if money wasn't a factor, what would you be doing with your life right now?

I thought I would change it up today and talk about something a little lighter, since my day was so heavy. If money weren’t a factor, I’d probably be taking my little family around the world to travel. That’s something that I love doing. I grew up overseas in the Philippines, Germany, and Japan. Being surrounded by different cultures IS my comfort zone. I actually feel more anxious being here in the United States where I can understand almost everyone around me. I think it’s because I can understand them that I have anxiety since my brain can actually process what’s being said.

I love traveling to different places to eat the specialty food. I love seeing historical sites, whether its in a museum, walking in a castle or ruins, or just immersing myself in the local population. I hope that when COVID slows down and the world starts to function again, that we have the chance to travel.

I want to go back to Japan to take Sean and Mav around to eat food, and see all of the awesome kid places that they have! JAPAN IS THE PLACE TO BE WITH KIDS MAN. They have so much cool stuff there. I’m so envious of my friends that still live there.

I hope tomorrow is a better day because today really sucked.

you choose what you care about, pick your battles and make them count

It’s been a really long time since I’ve been able to say I’ve made some new friends, real friends. Not a friend from work, and that’s the only place we ever talk. I’m talking about a real friend that comes over, we frequently have meals together, our kids play together, and we spill all of our life secrets together kind of friend. I’ve protected myself from getting close to other people because I feel in the past, I’ve always invested more in the friendship than the other person. It got to the point where it seemed to become a one-way street, and those people weren’t giving the same amount of effort back to uphold the friendship. So I stopped getting close to people. I stopped opening up to people. I hated meeting new people.

As an Army brat, I learned to not get super close to everyone, because eventually, in 1-2 years, you’d be with an entirely new group anyway. There was no stability in my lifestyle or my friends. I was okay with that at the time, but looking back it, I really disliked that. I’m envious of my husband and his sister’s friendships because they all go wayyy back. It’s something I’ve never really experienced except with a few people in my life that are still in my life (Thank God.)

That’s why the friendships I have right now… you better believe I’m going to hang on for dear life. My friend was having a hard time, and I asked her why she didn’t call me. Actually, I cussed her out first and asked her why she didn’t call me, and she said she didn’t want to be a burden. She said she knew my plate was full of my own problems, and she didn’t want to worry me.

Let me tell you, BITCH YOU NEED TO WORRY ME. I believe in life, you get to choose what you care and don’t care about. You get to choose what battles you fight. But as your friend, I’m not going to let you fight that battle alone. You don’t get to choose what worries me or not because I am your FRIEND, and it’s my duty as a friend to make sure you pick yourself up. Because I know I can expect the same from these two friends.

I am a loyal friend. And I will never leave you in the dust, and I will always show up even if we’re thousands of miles away, I’ll be right there on FaceTime if that’s all I can do at that moment. So if you’re here on my blog, then just know that I trust you, and that I am always here for you if you need someone to listen.

photography: something that grounds me back to being my own person

I’ve been feeling really out of it lately, out of touch with reality, out of touch with myself. There was a part in Haunting of Bly Manor that just pulled at my heart strings so hard because “I FELT THAT.” Spoiler, skip to next paragraph if you haven’t watched it: When Theo just breaks down crying saying she couldn’t feel ANYTHING at all, like a pit of nothing… I felt that. I cried and my throat got tight because that’s what I feel (or don’t feel) most days.

It’s true what they say - when you become a mom, a lot of the focus turns onto the baby. Everyone wants to know how the baby is doing, but rarely do they ever ask how you’re doing. Unless they’re a mom too, and they know exactly what it’s like to be in your predicament. It’s hard to not feel like you’re being forgotten or feel less cared about. That’s why it’s so important to find something that makes you feel you again. And taking photos or being in photos does that for me.

I’m not the best at taking photos. I’m still learning. Most of the time it was me in front of the camera, but now I’ve found some comfort being behind the camera. And lately, that’s what I’ve been doing with my friends. I’ve been taking their photos and trying to make art, and make them feel beautiful. It reminds me that there’s more to me than just being “Maverick’s momma.” I’m me. I had hobbies before him and there’s no reason why I shouldn’t keep working at them.

It’s been really fun shooting, editing, and then seeing their reaction to how their photos turned out. It makes me really happy to know that I could capture that for them, their beauty, the beauty they’re unaware of sometimes. I hope that in the future, I have more time to learn about photography, but for now, it’s just for fun. It’s for us. It’s for me - to remember there’s more to me than just being a mom. I am still creative.

How to make the most out of social distancing

Strange times we’re going through right now, right? It’s like, the more you tell someone they have to stay home, the more they want to start exploring the outdoors. The more you tell someone that they can finally binge-watch their trending Netflix show (aka Tiger King), the more they want to have a picnic in the park next to everyone else having a picnic in the park. Is it me, or have we needed to go to Target more this week than any other week before this entire pandemic started?

You’re right, it’s difficult not to lose your mind and go stir crazy during this whole “stay home, stay safe” lock down, so what can you do to make it better at home? I’ve been lucky enough to have my hands full with my newborn, so hopefully, you have more time to do these things!

But first, how’s maternity leave going?

Since we were fortunate enough to have Maverick before all of this, we’ve just been hanging out at home for the most part. Part of me wishes he was still in my tummy so I could protect him, but it’s okay. Maternity leave has mostly been me sitting in a chair watching Netflix as I feed or console Maverick. It’s also been cleaning the house because of the doggy fur and dust and reorganizing things to make space for all of our baby stuff. We were supposed to go to Washington to visit everyone so they could meet Maverick, but I guess that’s just going to have to wait until we can use our leave again. So for now, Maverick is going to observe the inside of our home and backyard.

So what can you do?

Clean out your closet

I’ve been putting off cleaning out my closet for so long. Only because I was pregnant and I didn’t know what I wanted to keep for my new momma bod. But it is spring, so it’s a perfect time to do some spring cleaning! Since you aren’t going to be going anywhere crazy during this lock down, it’s a good opportunity for you to go through your closet and try on things you want to keep or get rid of. I know the biggest thing that holds me back on donating/selling clothes is the thought, “if XYZ happens, this would be perfect!” … XYZ never happens. Try to focus on keeping timeless pieces, staple pieces, and a few signature pieces. I’ve found myself moving away from loud clothing and staying relatively plain and neutral. It’s much easier to mix-n-match your outfits if all the pieces are around the same color scheme.

Writing more

You can obviously see that I’ve had more time on my hands to write since I’ve been posting more frequently. Being stuck inside and not being able to hang out with friends or family actually gives you the excuse to spend some time on your computer. If you’ve ever wanted to build a blog or write a book, then maybe right now is your chance to build that foundation! My friend Aleita has already finished her first book and has started working on her second one. Even though she had been working on it for the past year, this little break gave her the time she needed to let her creative juices flow. I’ve had more time to go through my photos, take photos, and organize my thoughts for the blogs I want to write. Even if you start on a free blog like Weebly or Wix, it’s better than not starting at all. Or if you aren’t into writing for the public eye, investing in a journal might be a cool idea to document how your 2020 is going. I’m sure it’ll be an interesting story to tell your future grandkids.

Trying your hand at baking

Okay, so far, I’ve only baked lactation cookies and made pot roast. Other than that, Sean and my mother-in-law have been cooking everything. I’m very thankful for that because I am EXHAUSTED. I do want to get back into baking during my leave though. It’s something that I used to find so much joy in. Cake decorating was so much fun when I was in culinary school. So far, all I’ve done to get this whole baking thing underway has been bookmarking recipes on Instagram. I follow @sweetish.co and @livewellbakeoften. The food they post always looks absolutely delicious, and I’ve followed a few recipes from them that were very simple to do!

Learn how to use a sewing machine

Sean has always prided himself on sewing things by hand. When he got the bright idea of making Maverick a swaddle that looks like a Pokemon, he quickly realized how long it would take to sew it by hand. That’s when we invested in a sewing machine. Now Maverick has a Pokemon swaddle, and I have a sewing machine. I’ve set aside my college t-shirts to have them made into a quilt, but we keep forgetting to send the box to my friend Mrs. Tanya. So I decided during this quarantine season, why not try to learn how to quilt myself? So now I have a bunch of cut up & fused fabric on my table waiting to be quilted together. I’m excited because this is probably the most motherly hobby I could think of. Wait till we get to that Halloween drip this year, my family is going to look fireee.

Play video games

Sean has been doing some catching up on his video games. I just bought Sean Dreams for PlayStation 4. It seems like a very interesting type of game because you can actually make your own game or play other games. It seems like it takes a lot of time to learn, but we've seen a few that were really well done! They also have recently released Animal Crossing, a game Sean and I have both become slightly addicted to. It kind of reminds me of Facebook’s infamous FarmVille. I never played the original AC, but I’m really lovin’ this one. And really, if we can’t get together in person, getting together on each other’s islands in the next best thing right? If you ever want to connect, drop your Friend Code in the comments!

So happy we were able to purchase weights before this lock down started!

Start a new workout routine

You don’t always need to be in the gym to start a fitness routine. Everyone is afraid of getting sick right now, so what better way to protect yourself than getting healthy? Exercise will help boost your immune system! I’ve done a few fitness apps for beginners that I love to include Nike Training Club and FitOn. I’ve also followed @WhitneySimmons and @Brooklynhillfit on Instagram that have great workouts. It’s hard to do those workouts unless you have a home gym though. Anyways, get movin’ at home, get healthy. Not just for your physical appearance, but to live a better lifestyle overall!

Bottomline, stay the fxck home

I can’t stress this enough. If you don’t need to go anywhere then why voluntarily expose yourself to the virus? The cases here in El Paso are going up each day and it’s terrifying watching it come so close to home. If you don’t need gloves or masks, stop hoarding them and donate them to hospitals where the workers actually need them. If you already have 18 rolls of toilet paper, don’t go hoarding another load on your next trip to the store. It’s actually such a frustrating feeling going to the store and not being able to buy Lysol or Clorox because Karen wants to hoard them. Even though Karen is a non-essential worker who is supposed to stay home ANYWAYS. You guys do know that if we want to keep everyone safe and clean, then you’re supposed to let others have the supplies to be safe and clean? Okay, that’s all. Stay home, wash your hands, cover your nose and mouth when you cough and sneeze. #COVID19

Skin Series: The basic on Chemical Exfoliants (EEP!)

We must have some serious chemistry because you’re here again for our THIRD Skin Series Blog! Lovin’ the support that we have gotten from you if you’ve stuck with us this far. So we’re going to go more in-depth with what these mysterious chemical peels are and why it’s such a great step to incorporate into your skincare routine. You’ve probably heard of some of the more popular ones like salicylic acid for blemishes or citric acids for brightening. So chances are you’ve already been using them in your routine just embedded in your cleansers.

So there are 3 main types of chemical exfoliants that skincare products use: PHA, AHA, and BHA. All have similarities in what they do for your skin, but can definitely make a difference depending on what skin type you have. Chemical exfoliants mainly help shed that dead-skin layer that lies on top or penetrates through sebum that sits within your pores. So without further ado, let’s get to it. “Sanding it down and stripping it” and then repainting it with new stuff.

AHA, or Alpha-hydroxy Acids

You’ve probably already used products with AHAs blended in with them. AHAs are naturally derived from things like fruits, sugar cane, or milk. They’re gentle water-soluble acids that work on the epidermis (top layer). They work by breaking down the bonds of the dead skin that lies on the surface. Without these bonds, it’s easier for the dead and dull skin to fall off, or be “exfoliated”. With this process, it is only natural to have brighter skin because new bebe skin is exposed. AHAs are great for all skin types, including dry skin to help with texturing. A few of the most commonly used AHAs are listed below:

Glycolic acid

• It’s pretty much the holy grail of the AHAs due to it’s small molecular size

• It comes from sugar cane

• Helps with texture to smooth out the skin

• Can be used 2-3 times per week

Lactic acid

• Slightly larger than glycolic acid, making it more gentle

• It comes from sour milk, but doesn’t smell gross!

• Helps with moisturizing as well as texture

Malic acid

• Milder than glycolic and lactic acid, often used in combination with other AHAs

• It comes from apples

• Helps with brightening

Mandelic acid

• It comes from bitter almonds

• Helps with anti-bacterial properties and exfoliation without the brightening

• Very gentle on your skin!

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BEAUTY GIVEAWAY 2020

I’m going to be teaming up with Susanna to host a giveaway in celebration of Okami & Company’s one year anniversary! To enter, participants must do the following:

1. Follow us on IG @lynnnnsane and @SusannaTheSkinSlayer

2. Tag a friend on the respective Instagram post for the giveaway

3. Comment on each blog post on the website with your favorite products and why

Each individual tag on Instagram is an additional entry to the giveaway. This giveaway will feature trial size and full size products that we will be recommending throughout the skin series!

GIVEAWAY ENDS FEBRUARY 23 :)

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BHA, or Beta-hydroxy Acids

The infamous salicylic acid that all of us have known as tried and true during our pubescent years. Chances are your parents bought you your first face wash containing a dose of salicylic acid when your teenage face was first starting to break out. You know that it is gentle enough to use every day. The first time I used salicylic acid was when I was started on Proactiv and it made a world of difference. Salicylic acid is a fat-soluble acid that is able to penetrate deeper into the pores and those stubborn oil glands allowing them to be cleared. Unclogging those pores are so important before applying other products, especially ones that are not fat-soluble. With that being said, BHAs work great for those with oilier skin types!

PHA, or Poly-hydroxy Acids

It’s not that this is a new one, but it is becoming more popularly used. Think of PHAs as the baby sister of AHAs. They’re very similar, but the biggest difference is the larger molecular size of a PHA. If you’ve ever taken the time to look at your products, anything with glucose lactose, galactose, or lactobionic acid is a PHA. Who does this product work best for? Those with sensitive skin. Sometimes our skin doesn’t tolerate products because, let’s face it, some products are just too strong for our skin. A big plus for PHAs are most PHAs are great for hydration because they’re a humectant. There’s also less of a chance for photoaging, aka, you’re less sensitive to the harsh rays of the sun after application. That doesn’t mean to skip out on the sunscreen though.

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Things to remember about chemical exfoliants

1. Can be found in some of your main products already or are found as their own product

2. Tingling versus burning? Tingling is normal and subsides a few minutes after application; burning does not subside and you may see redness afterward - this could be a sign that you’re using it too often or the concentration is too high for your skin right now

3. Try to use them at night to not expose skin to immediately the sun because your skin may become irritated with increased sun exposure - USE SUNSCREEN THE MORNING AFTER (if you aren’t a normal wearer of sunscreen, cause it should be used daily)

4. Hydrate and moisturize after application of chemical peels

5. Check the concentration of the peels that you use, start low and work your way up

6. Don’t over-exfoliate with physical or chemical exfoliants - if you plan on using a chemical exfoliant, maybe skip out on your Clarisonic for the night, the last thing you want is to cause micro-tears in your skin

7. Don’t use on sensitive skin (already broken skin, inflamed skin, or bad blemishes) Not even PHA! Let your skin heal first before you start to slough it off