After spending so much time in the hospital with my son this year, there are a few things that I just really feel I need to let go of. These things are important, but not so important that they rule my life in a way where it completely drains me physically, mentally, and emotionally. I want to find balance in my life so I can progress in all areas, without striving for absolute perfection.
My body image
I’ve already gone into why I want to let this go. I have terrible eating habits, and I always put myself down for missing workouts, not walking enough, being sedentary… I binge, I purge. I restrict, and still purge. My eating habits are not healthy. I haven’t come to terms with my new postpartum body. I always feel the need to suck in my stomach and hide it, even when no one is around. I calculate calories in my head and compare them to my watch’s “burned calorie counter”. All unhealthy habits because I obsess over them. I waste so much time in my day just thinking about food, when I could just be enjoying the moments with my boys.
Being the “perfect parent” and “trophy wife”
Social media makes it really hard on your every day moms and wives. After spending so much time scrolling through Instagram and every perfect Montessori Momma page or every Housekeeping Fashionista page of well-kept women, I can’t help but feel like I’m falling short on my duties as a mom and wife. I guess the biggest thing that I need to remember is that social media is usually the best parts of your day. Just snippets of people’s lives, and they always choose the best parts to show. Which is why I started Okami & Company… I wanted to showcase my real life - the good, the bad, and the extremely ugly parts of life. I have to remember my “why".
Being a hustler in life
To Hell with the Hustle. I remember when I first read this book. We’re so caught up in society’s “go, go, go” mentality, that we rarely take the time to just let go and just be. This year with Maverick’s hospitalizations, I’ve definitely let go of the work hard, play hard mentality. I’ve forced myself to slow down sometimes. It’s been extremely hard to put my career on the back burner and take care of myself and my son, but since I’ve done that… life has actually gotten a lot better. I appreciate the little things a lot more, like just watching my son play. I value sleep and rest - WITHOUT having to say, “I did this task, now I deserve rest.” You ALWAYS deserve rest, no matter what tasks you do or don’t complete. So just let go, and just be for once.