Holy Sh*t Labor Day: Maverick's Arrival

That was probably the hardest shit I’d ever had to do in my entire life, but it gave me the best blessing I could ever imagine. After 23 hours of trying to labor down, my son Maverick James was born on 28 February 2020, at 1255. He weighs in as a light featherweight champion of 6.4 lbs, measuring 20 inches long. The adrenaline was surging when they placed him in front of me as I stared down at him while I was still on all fours.

26 February 2020 @1500

Sean and I had a 39-week appointment this day, but I was already having contractions. Mild as they were, the clinic still thought it was best to send me up to be checked in case I was going into labor. While I was triaged, I found out I was 3 cm and 75% effaced. The OBGYN that saw me asked if I wanted her to strip my membranes, and I said yes! Little did I know this was going to kick start the process fairly quickly. I went home that night and was cramping and contracting throughout the night.

27 February 2020

I woke up to slower contractions, not as intense, and all of a sudden felt a little disappointed. The contractions had been fairly strong throughout the night, but the fact that I was able to fall asleep through them to have them completely fade away? Rough. Sean and I still stayed home though because even though they were irregular, they were still there. The OBGYN told me to wait 24 hours, so that’s what we did. I called LND asking what admission criteria was, and she said that she would bet I still had 48 hours or so before I came in. So Sean and I went on a few walks, to include a very short 10-minute hike on the Franklin Mountains. This was barely a hike, it was a slightly elevated gravel trail, some kind of joke to a PNW’er. We ate lunch at an overpriced crab boil restaurant, and then walked to Wal-Mart to get milk, and that’s when it hit me.

I told Sean I needed to go home because I started having intense cramping. When we got home, I laid on my birth ball while Sean started a warm bath for me to relax in. I sat in the bath for about 15 minutes when I thought I felt a trickle come out, we thought nothing of it. Then a gush of fluid came out and formed a cloud in the bath, “HOLY SHIT” both of us exclaimed. I stood up, “THIS IS IT!” Fluids kept leaking out like they do in the movies!

“YOU’RE STILL GUSHING!”

“GET ME PADS AND MY CLOTHES.”

“HOLY SHIT IT’S HAPPENING!”

“I’LL CALL LND AND FLORA AND WE GOTTA GO!”

The adrenaline was rushing, but we honestly could have moved a little slower. But with every gush that came out, we became more and more excited. We were going to meet our little boy soon and we couldn’t wait! Sean drove us to the hospital in record time (safely of course), and I was still in the backseat trying to gather all the mental courage I was going to need for the big push.

Disclaimer: Graphic images included in this blog. Photography by Kai Lanzi Photography - El Paso Birth Photographer

We got to the hospital, and I barely progressed. I was at 4 cm and 80% effaced. I came in with a birth plan but God decided that he wanted to switch things up on us. I wasn’t contracting. I wasn’t in labor. My water was broken. My risk of infection would grow with every hour that passed by. So the question of, “do you want to start Pitocin” came up and it was the one thing I wanted to avoid. I’ve always heard that laboring on Pitocin was a different kind of hell. I ended up giving in after a couple of hours. I was going to feel the pain either way, so we might as well kick start it. I labored unmedicated (without epidural) on Pitocin for almost 8 hours. My night nurse, Maria, was the most soothing nurse ever. Every time she came in and massaged me through a contraction, I fell asleep. Then as soon as she left and Sean took over, I was screaming. There was something so calming about her that really helped me through those first 8 hours of labor.

28 February 2020

At 0430, I tapped out and asked for an epidural when they got the Pitocin up to 14 milliunits per second. They missed twice on my epidural, but gave me a hefty dose when they finally got it in. I slept until 9 AM. By then I was a complete 10 cm and 100% effaced and baby was at station 0. I was feeling mighty fine after hearing this, thinking that my labor was going to be sunshine and rainbows, but this was more like the PNW where a sunny day can turn into a rainstorm real quick.

After having the hardest time trying to push with an epidural, we ended up taking it off after 4 hours to let my body feel the contractions and the pushing. My legs were so heavy and I could not for the life of me focus my pushing to my butt. I also wasn’t having strong enough contractions to help me push baby out, so they had to start the Pitocin again. This was enough to put me through three hours of hell. My birthing team was the most encouraging team of nurses though. My midwife, Regina, didn’t give up on me at all and was pulling out every trick in the hat to get me to deliver. My nurse, Pat, didn’t give up on me at all and was so encouraging throughout the entire process. My husband was a trooper in supporting me. And my birth photographer, Kai, was doing way more than just taking photos. She was holding my hand, my legs, wiping the sweat off my face. My team was strong, and they believed in me; so I had to believe in me.

We tried EVERY position possible to push in. My son was NOT wanting to evacuate his hot tub of 9 months. We started in the traditional on the back push. I moved to both sides. I was squatting with the bar. My midwife put me in a weird rag doll position called Walcher’s position to try and get baby to drop. I went back to my back. I went back to my side. I felt EVERYTHING. The epidural was GONE. By the time 2.5 hours hit, I was hysterical and exhausted. I wanted to give up so bad and throw the towel in and opt for a c-section. I was losing my focus, but my team kept me on track. I started to lose hope after being started on antibiotics for a 102 degree fever I broke during labor. Everything seemed to be stacking up against me and my ideal of how my labor would go. Our last resort was on all fours. I don’t know if it was because my midwife said, “I’ll give it two more contractions and we’ll talk options on what to do next.” All I thought of was forceps, vacuums, episiotomies, and c-section. ALL things that I wanted to avoid.

If I thought I dug deep for the Athens Marathon, you’d be surprised at how deep I had to dig to get this baby out. The entire 2.5 hours before that I was screaming and crying. The last 30 minutes, I pulled focused, stayed quiet, did my breathing, and pushed that motherfxcker out. As soon as I felt his head pop out, it was just a burst of adrenaline to get the rest of him out.

At 12:55 PM, my baby boy was born. Would I do that again? Right now, no. I’m thinking “one and done.” I know in a few months, I’ll forget it was like and I’ll want to give my boy a sibling. Until then, I will cherish my cone-headed baby. I am overjoyed with how beautiful my son is. I am SO grateful for the support I had at the bedside. I couldn’t have done it without them. If there’s anything I aspire to be, it’s to be like the nurses and midwives I’ve had work with me during my labor.

My Dearest Lemon Baby

We’ve been bonding now for almost 14 weeks, and with every passing second I love you a little bit more. I never thought that I could feel this much love for something I haven’t met yet, but I do. I’ve been at the bedside of many women giving birth to their babies, seen hundreds of ultrasounds, and have taken care of newborns, but nothing in this world has compared to the feeling I get when I see your photo. Nothing makes me feel happier than when I think of seeing you move in my tummy, growing every day.

You might be wondering why we call you Lemon Baby. Well, your daddy has made it his duty to make sure mommy doesn’t get crazy stretch marks on her tummy, so he does our post-shower ritual of rubbing burt’s bees mama bee products all over you. One of the oils smells like lemons. I can’t wait for you to start hearing so you can hear his silly little songs as he does it. I really hope you don’t grow up sour or grumpy!

I can’t wait until we can start to feel you move. This pregnancy has felt like an eternity due to how sick you’ve made mommy, but it also feels like it’s going so fast. I wouldn’t mind having it slow down a little so I can cherish you a little bit longer.

Say hello to the world little baby. We all love you so much already.

The hardest secret we had to keep, but did we even keep it?

I hope my baby inherits my calves…

I’m not going to lie, the first trimester has been the roughest 3 months of my life.

We found out that we were pregnant very early on. We had hit 5 weeks the day we found out; two days before we were taking off for Mexico. I remember joking with Sean before we took the test, I’d look down at my tummy and say, “you gotta let me know if there’s something in there, I gotta know if I can drink tequila or not!” So when we found out that tequila, or any form of alcohol, was off the table, it was time to brainstorm what white lies we were going to tell everyone as to why I was not partaking in festivities. I know this sounds silly, but whenever we get together with these friends, I’m usually one of the people yelling “shots!”

Facing the Crowd

When we arrived to my sister-in-law’s villa, everyone was there. The first thing that people started asking Sean and I were about having a baby. It really blew my mind when my mother-in-law came up to me, touched my tummy, and asked, “is there something in there?” I was so shocked that I didn’t know how to respond, so I ended up trying to laugh it off and say no. Sean was approached by Justin’s mom and she asked him if I was pregnant, same response: laugh and say no. I knew that I had tipped Justin off when he poured a round of shots for everyone, and he tried to give me one and I used Madeline as an excuse to not participate. He gave me the look. The look that said, “I know you’re hiding something now.”

“Ya’ll were pretty obvious in Mexico lol.” Okay - so we didn’t do a great job, haha!

No hiding feeling crummy

I definitely tried my best to maintain a good attitude during the entire trip, but my body was taking some pretty bad hits. I was extremely tired, which I’m sure was a mix of jet lag and pregnancy, and our long layovers. I was also extremely nauseous (which I have been for the duration of the first trimester). I didn’t eat as much as I wanted to because things started to taste different already. At my sister-in-law’s wedding, I left on the early shuttle home because I just couldn’t take the nausea, and ended up throwing up. We tried to play it off like I was “way too drunk” and “way too tired” to function, but those who were really paying attention knew, and were really helpful in helping me home. I took a lot of naps during this trip, like I do every day now.

12-hour shifts are for the birds

My very least favorite thing was returning to work for a few days before I started preparing for my leave to come back to the states. Headaches, nausea, and a lot of vomiting at work. It made it difficult to work with patients, but thankfully, they were all new mothers that had just given birth and knew exactly what I was going through. I had the help of my co-workers to take the load off when it got really bad, and was sent home early because the vomiting had just become so hard. I am so thankful for the staff at Brian Allgood Army Community Hospital’s MSP ward. They were so supportive of my messiness, and I am forever grateful.

So, how did I actually hide it? Or did I even do that?

I don’t think I did a very good job at hiding it. I felt crummy my entire first trimester, and I’m sure everyone noticed. My sister-in-law told me that everyone kept asking her if I was pregnant, and she would just deny it for us. I’m sure it’s easy to hide your pregnancy if you aren’t feeling like crap 24/7, but that was not the case. We told our immediate family that we were expecting, and as of our last post, we told the world. Pretending to have drinks with friends by drinking ginger ale with limes or a fake margarita may hold you over for awhile, but not for long. Also, I constantly am rubbing my tummy because I just love knowing my babe is in there with me.

So here’s to the second trimester, and may it be easier than the first.

Baby Sison coming March 2020!

WE ARE EXPECTING A BABY COMING MARCH 2020!

New adventures awaiting us in March 2020!

This has literally been the hardest secret to keep from the public, although I’m sure many of our friends have already had their suspicions for quite some time now. Here’s to the first blog dedicated to my baby and how I have been crawling my way through my first trimester.

Sean and I had been trying our entire year in Korea, and with every month that passed, and every visit from Aunt Flo, it became harder and harder for me to handle every month. So when July 2019 rolled around, I wasn’t expecting much. We were gearing up to take leave to attend a wedding in Mexico, when I joked to Sean saying, “wouldn’t it be funny if I got pregnant? The one time that I’m going to prepare myself to party, and I can’t even do that?” We laughed and were lighthearted about it, but as the days passed, I started to feel different.

I track my cycles like the Mayans track the days using the Clue app. I know when I’m ovulating, I know when my period is coming. Every leg cramp, every stomach ache, every pain in my boob. Maybe that’s TMI, but hey, I’m going to be a mom and privacy is going out the window with every appointment! The symptom I couldn’t wrap my head around was my boobs feeling “heavier”. Ever since we started trying to conceive, I’ve read almost every article possible on “how to tell if you’re pregnant'“ and breast tenderness was my #1 suspicion for baby. I told Sean I didn’t feel right, and he said that we should wait until the day before we leave for Mexico to take the test. He went back to work down South for one day, and that day I got up and still didn’t feel right. I got up out of bed and took the test by myself.

It took him awhile to look at it, but when he saw it, his reaction was everything to me <3

TWO. FREAKING. LINES. CHANGED. MY. LIFE.

I was stunned for a second. My heart was racing and I just didn’t know how to take it all in by myself. I knew that I wanted to take it without Sean because I never get to surprise him, and this was one helluva surprise! I told him that I wasn’t feeling well, and asked him if he could come home that night. It was a giant mess trying to get him home because of a story I’d rather not go into detail with (in short: he was conned by a Korean, asshole.) But before he got home, I got everything set up for a reaction video which will be posted soon. Our lives changed that day. Everything I thought I knew about wanting to become a mom flew out the window. All my nursing knowledge, all the information I read before on how to conceive no longer mattered, because I was pregnant now! It was a new level, I had to read new things.

It’s been one crazy, emotional roller coaster. I’m not lying, Sean has a running list of the things that make me cry. This includes a bubblegum commercial, pancakes, and a stuffed hedgie. Everything makes me cry. I’m just glad that I’m not going through this alone. Sean and I are finally going to live together here in Texas, and it’s been so nice having him around every day. All day sickness has not been kind. Dizziness is sometimes unbearable. Living in the giant oven that El Paso is has been killer on me. But I’m not alone. I’m never alone now. I have my little babe in my tummy, and every day we grow a little bit closer together.

Photography: Northern Lily Photography