How often do we find ourselves feel like we’re giving our all to our partner or children, and still feel like we aren’t getting the same love reciprocated? Our “love tank” may be fueled by our loved ones, but sometimes “it just isn’t enough”. Which in return, leaves us feeling a little empty. That’s probably because our love language is not being spoken to. According to Sunny Motamedi, a marriage and family therapist, there are five love languages that we can all naturally gravitate towards.
Words of Affirmation
This can be verbal communication like saying, “I love you and I appreciate you” every day, or nonverbal like written letters, texts, or nowadays, social media posts. Active listening by restating what they’ve said to show you are understanding them can also be a great way to reassure them that you’re there for them.
Acts of Service
This is one of the ways I like to communicate my love. I try to make life easier for my husband by doing housework like making sure he has clean clothes, having food ready for when he gets home, or just by cleaning the house in general. I love when my husband calls and asks if I need anything from the store before he comes home so I don’t have to go out and get it. These actions make life easier for the other person.
Physical Touch
This can come in the form of things like holding hands, cuddling, or consented sex. Physical touch is such a strong form of communication and can really connect you to the other person. It’s also important to know if this is an issue for someone when it’s the least favorited love language, as it is such a strong form of communication, it can be too much for highly sensitive people.
Gifts
A pretty self explanatory language. This can be sending flowers, buying a treat, or sending something special to your loved one. Monetary values of gifts aren’t the indicator, but just giving a gift is a symbol of your love.
Quality Time
Quality time is spent when there is nothing that can rob your attention from your partner. This means limiting screen time and being actively engaged with your partner. An easy way to do this is going on walks without cellphones, doing a fun hobby together, or watching a movie together. It doesn’t need to be long (quantity), it just has to be meaningful time. Even 5 minutes of undivided attention can make a difference.