It’s the happiest and merriest time of the year, so why is my anxiety through the roof? Have you ever asked yourself this when those “-ber” months come around? You know, September, October, November, December. In the Philippines, the -ber months are considered the Christmas holidays, just for those who didn’t know, lol.
But if you’ve been this person who gets more anxious during the holidays, it could be from anything that triggers you to remember a traumatic memory, or the anxiety of reuniting with people who have hurt you emotionally, physically, or mentally. These can exacerbate emotions that you used to be able to control throughout the year. They can also give you physical symptoms of anxiety such as racing heart, high blood pressure, dizziness, or even nausea. Either way, there are exercise you can do to practice controlling your emotions and reactions to these triggers.
What are some things that can be triggering during the holidays?
Booze
Did you know that alcohol consumption is almost 70% higher in the last two weeks of December than the rest of the year? Isn’t that some wild statistic? But that comes to no surprise. As merry and gay as everything is, alcohol is a top item to be gifted during the holidays. Whether it’s in an actual gift, or bringing it to a house party. The infamous eggnog, gluhwein, and champagne make their appearance throughout the months of November and December. It’s hard to escape, and the peer pressure to drink is heavy.
Food
There’s no mistake that starting the holidays with one of the most glutinous days, Thanksgiving, makes it hard for those who are in recovery for an eating disorder. Booze isn’t the only thing that increases during these festive months. Cookies, pies, cakes, and other desserts make their appearance, along with other fatty foods. Recovery is hard when you’re pressured to eat more. It’s even harder when you have your old aunt Karen breathing down your neck on how fat or how skinny you’ve gotten since she last saw you. A tip this holiday season is to just not comment on anyone’s weight. Mind ya business, or I’ll eat you.
Loss or Loneliness
I’ve definitely felt the pain of missing a loved one on Christmas day. The first Christmas I spent without my brother, and the first Christmas I spent without my best friend Jacob. Whether you’re suffering from depression due to the loss of a loved one, or simply because you can’t be with family this holiday season… it can be rough. The best way I’ve combatted this is celebrating in their honor if they’ve passed. And there is always Skype when you’re a world away from each other.
Family
Sometimes we move away from home to get away from certain family members. And sometimes the holidays bring us back because we want to see only certain family members, so we put up with the ones we don’t want to see. Sometimes history of abuse can effect how your holidays go as well because of past memories. Research actually shows that sometimes people miss their abusers due to good memories of the holidays, and they forget about the abuse. Tell me that isn’t triggering!
How to handle the situations
Prepare yourself and identify your triggers
Ask yourself “what is it about the holidays that hurt you so much, and are there ways that you can possibly avoid it all together?” If not, make a small list of grounding skills that you can practice when you get too anxious. It can be particularly difficult to avoid all of your triggers when in America; the holidays seem to throw up everywhere with it’s songs, Christmas lights, holiday scents, foods, etc. If you’re riddled with anxiety, you’re almost likely to experience sensory overload as well. This all can be overwhelming. This is why grounding skills can be so important during the holidays. Whether it’s wearing ear buds to listen to your own music, using the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique, or having to splash water on your face to bring yourself back to center, do whatever works for you.
Set boundaries for yourself and others and stick to them
You are in charge of your holiday season, remember that. You get to decide who you see and who you don’t see. You get to decide which parties you want to attend, and when you want to leave those parties. You can set the standard for yourself if you feel safe to do so with your loved ones. Or if you don’t feel comfortable in telling your entire family, entrust someone with what your boundaries are so they can help you navigate the event. Whether that’s not being offered any alcohol, bringing up memories that are hurtful to you, or asking about your weight, you are allowed to have boundaries. And remember, you’re always allowed to leave if you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, and unheard.
Talk with your friends or your therapists to keep you grounded
Although holiday travel is common, that doesn’t mean your friends or your therapist can’t be reached. Luckily, in today’s age, friends are available at your fingertips via text. It probably wouldn’t be best to ring your therapist every 5 minutes during the holidays, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do a quick check in with them to practice some quick grounding techniques.