I have been posting a lot more lately, and what I’ve recognized is that there are so many people out there that feel the way that I do. It really sucks to know that so many of my friends are also experiencing feelings of depression, anxiety, and self-doubt. It hurts me so much to know that. But here’s the thing, we can build community in all of this. You need to know that you are not alone, and it’s proven through those who like my posts and those who have the bravery to comment their feelings and thoughts. So if there’s so many of us that experience these things, then why is there such a great stigma? I don’t know either. I know that there are some things that we should stop joking about and saying to each other though, and here are some examples.
“Everyone has bad days, you’ll have better a better day tomorrow”
Having a mental illness is more than just being sad or angry or feeling a passing sense of anxiety. It’s an imbalance of brain chemistry that requires therapy and/or medication for the person to feel a sense of normalcy. It leaves people at a higher risk for physical manifestations like tachycardia, high blood pressure, panic attacks, and even suicidal ideations. It’s more than just a bad day; every day is a battle.
“All you need to do is be positive”
I’ve already said my piece on toxic positivity and how it isn’t helpful or conducive to those going through therapy. It’s more than just having a positive outlook. Sometimes you can’t help but feel the dread of life weighing down on your entire body. It’s feeling hopeless that nothing can get better. It’s feeling guilty knowing you’re “so blessed” but you still feel this way. The symptoms can be debilitating and a positive outlook won’t change that.
“Did you forget to take your meds today?”
I wish someone would say this to me, but in a way where they’re genuinely concerned that I forgot to take my medications. I take a total of 5 medications, 3 of which I am maxed out on dosage. Psychiatric medications are nothing to be joked about since they are carefully monitored when given. They can’t be stopped cold turkey, since the pain of withdrawal and being sent into a downward spiral are so high. They can be a lifesaver to those who are experiencing depression, anxiety, or other forms of mental illness, and should only be used by those who are seeing a provider.
“Why are you always so stressed/anxious?”
It’s not that we want to be stressed and anxious, we have no choice to be this way. Anxiety and anxiety disorder are so different. Healthy anxiety can be a response to an issue that arises but is quickly resolved with logical thinking and reasonable support/solutions. Anxiety disorder is something that you live with constantly. It shows up in things like obsessive compulsive disorder, panic attacks, C/PTSD, and other disorders. It’s something that can only be helped by therapy and medication use.
“You aren’t strong/You’ve got to be stronger”
WOW. NO. Just DON’T EVER think that you are weaker than people because you are suffering from a mental illness. Mental illness does not discriminate on who it effects. As proven through those who are successful like good ol’ Robin Williams (rip) who have committed suicide. It does not mean that you are weak. It means you are strong enough for being able to endure such hardships and still get through life. It means you are able to reach out for help when you know you need it. And even if you haven’t reached out for help yet, you’re strong enough to still be here. It’s a chemical imbalance in your brain that you can’t help, and for you to be here still, I commend you friend.