It took me exactly 2 years to watch the Haunting of Hill House. I watched the first episode with Sean last year and when I saw the bent neck lady, I told him that it was a series that I was not willing to watch. Not in fear of the bent neck lady, but the fear of living through what the show was going to go through. After watching it, there are some things that completely hit home for me where I could say, “yeah I can completely relate to that. fuck.” other things, I was just like, “meh that’s stupid.”
But looking back at it, it was… well, kind of the bent neck lady that scared me. I would find myself afraid at night to go to sleep or to even think her name aloud. It wasn’t her that I was afraid of, it was the image of my brother hanging that I was afraid of. I don’t think I’ve ever written that in my blog. I always mention my brother committed suicide, but I never mentioned how - he was a bent neck boy. So to close my eyes, and see my brother as my own personal bent neck figure, is probably the scariest thing that I can imagine. Because sometimes, I imagine it is a bent neck lady, but that lady is me.