Distancing myself from people I’m not even close with yet. I think that’s my biggest fall back as a person going through life. I tend to cut ties with people I haven’t even properly formed relationships with. Maybe it’s the fear of being hurt or being unliked. Honestly, I think it’s the fear of not actually fitting in or having similar interests as them.
You know how there are people in your life that are just born social butterflies? They do really well with any group that they interact with? They connect easily and they have limitless conversations? Well, that’s not me. At least I don’t think it is. I feel like I’m extremely empathetic, but for some reason, I just don’t allow myself to connect with people. I think I’m good at listening to people’s problems and helping, but I’m not good doing it the other way around. That’s why I started my blog. I wanted an outlet where I didn’t actually need the human connection. If someone could relate to me, they’d relate to me through my writing. We were both safe from interaction, but still felt mutually about something. If they wanted to interact, they could message me via pixels. Still safe.
I want to be better at getting out there. I want to be better at connecting and forming relationships. As a nurse, I know how important a strong support system is. I preach it to my patients before they go home, “surround yourself with a good support system so when things get hard, you have people to fall back on.” Luckily, we have some friends here that have been nothing but good to us (thanks Kev, Flora, Gladys, & Matt.) You four are the only people we really interact with here, and it’s more than enough.
I hope on our next move, we’re better about getting out and strengthening relationships. They say it takes a village to raise a child (& a mother), I guess we just need to build our village.